The very thought of meeting again after breaking up my three-year relationship scared me. Do I like someone? Maybe I'll scare a man? Maybe he will find me too emotional and self-assured?
In general, this whole topic of dating is about our self-confidence. A little fun, a little scary. But this time I decided that there would be no fears, I was tired.
I decided to meet as a goddess.
I used to rate my sexuality by who I am next to a man. How mysterious and inaccessible I am, how little I open up. I thought that if he refused me, then at least he would not refuse me the real one. But in the end, I still felt like a coward.
Honestly, I just terribly wanted to be that mysterious woman, about which we constantly hear.A gorgeous girl who needs nothing, who is never angry and goes with the flow, her ass without a drop of cellulite and a completely flat stomach.
But the fact is that it is impossible. Unreal. Super cool perfect girl is as real as a chocolate cake without a calorie.
It does not exist. And I am not her. And you are not her.And it is beautiful.
But still we are desperate to be her. We hold back our emotions and remember all the tips for the first dates from women's magazines.And in fact, these tips, however harmless they may seem, are like a bane: do not talk too much, do not scare him, do not call him first, do not show that you like him a lot, do not be too emotional, do not run after him.
Did any of this help someone?
In fact, this is all nonsense.Because such rules turn us into ghosts, robots, make us play games. And at the same time they say to be natural. Where is the logic?
Love does not appear when we plan every phrase in our mind, we buy books about how to keep a man. Love comes when we are real, when we are brave enough to be ourselves.
Therefore, be what your soul tells you to be.Let your heart be your set of rules in a relationship.And if someone is scared away by your openness and sincerity, it means that it is not for you. And that means you have just saved yourself from several months of meaningless relationships, wherever you try to be the one that you are not, the one who is not for you.
You need to be proud of yourself.We are women, with big hearts, big needs, desires and emotions. And no, it is not too. It makes us beautiful. We have a big appetite: thirst for life, food, sex, chocolate, love, sea and sun.
We have mood swings. Get over it. We are not insensitive robots, we experience pain, sadness, joy, jealousy. We feel a lot.
To be a goddess is to have the courage to show the world to be real.Therefore, tell yourself that from now on you will be yourselves, will answer his calls and SMS, if you want, without waiting for time to make him jittery, will show him your emotions, will honestly say what you need from the relationship.
When we are natural and real, we will never lose. And then we will meet someone who loves us directly.