How do men actually fall in love

I do not remember the first time when my boyfriend told me that he loves. But I remember one special day when we met for about half a year. Then he came up to me, looked deep into my eyes, hugged me and whispered: “I think I’m really in love with you.”

I laughed, because he had long told me that he loved me, as I did to him. "What do you mean? I asked incredulously. - I already know that you love me. And I love you".
But he tried to explain: maybe he said he loved, but now he really understood that he fell in love on a deeper level. What the hell does that mean?

It turns out that science has an answer.According to one study, men even fall in love more quickly than women.So the statement that we rush into the pool with our heads and present the wedding on the first date is wrong.

A study of 2010 was published in the Journal of Social Psychology, which stated that men not only fall in love faster, but also say “I love you” before. These are the results of opinion polls, and although they are unexpected, this only confirms that men also want love and relationships.

When a man falls in love, his brain is filled with pleasant substances:dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine, oxytocin and testosterone. A man in love is under the action of these strong hormones that are produced in response to the pheromones of a woman - substances that she radiates to attract partners.

The reason why men fall in love is faster in evolution.

“I think women unconsciously drag off love, unlike men,” comments the author of the study, psychologist Marissa Harrison. “After all, a woman will lose more in the reproductive sense if she thoughtlessly chooses the wrong man.” She was born with a limited number of eggs, whereas a man produces millions of sperm every day. ”

In other words, a woman has to be more careful in choosing a partner.

"If a woman chooses the wrong partner who will not help her with the child, then this will be a great waste of time and resources for her."

But here's another point: although men fall in love faster, they are faster and stop loving. All because they tend to stare at others. After all, evolutionarily they are hunters.While the woman is sitting at home and raising a child, they continue to walk and search for prey.

In addition, some psychologists believe that a man says “I love you” faster because of his willingness to take risks.

But how can you turn this first quick love into serious long-lasting feelings?

Scientists say a combination of several factors is important. One of them is great sex. Even on the physical level. When a person experiences an orgasm, he gets a surge of oxytocin and vasopressin. These are hormones that are responsible for attachment.

Another factor is the creation of deep, intimate relationships. Men need to feel supported and understood. They need a woman whom they can trust and who will respect them, with whom they can laugh together.

So when my boyfriend told me that he really fell in love with me, apparently, this is a good sign - it means his first feelings did not evaporate, but develop into something more.

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  • How do men actually fall in love

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