My life has gone idle Revelation banker

“My life went idle!” Revelation banker

[reclam]

John Jerrison, a 46-year-old Australian banker, explains how he wasted his life and became a stranger to himself.

 

My life went idle. I am 46 years old and I have one piece of advice for you. It is useful to those who are right now at the crossroads of their path.

Most people live their lives completely in vain and not at all as they would like. My name is John. I need to remove the load from the soul, so I want to talk. I am a 46-year-old banker who has lived his life absolutely the opposite of what I dreamed of.

All my dreams and passions are no more. For the past 26 years I have been working from 9 am to 7 pm 6 days a week. I chose what seemed to be the safest possible way of life. As a result, this path has changed beyond recognition me.

Today I found out that my wife was cheating on me during the last 10 years of our marriage. My son feels nothing towards me. I realized that I had missed my father’s funeral in exchange for anything.I am not in love and do not travel the world helping homeless people.

All this is absolutely not what I dreamed about when I was a self-confident 20-year-old youth. If that guy, who I was 25–30 years ago, would have seen me now, he would have charged me a spank. I destroyed all my dreams with my own hands.

Let's start with what I was at 20. It seemed to me that I was born only yesterday and was created in order to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was progressive, creative, spontaneous, ready to take any risk as a young man.I had two dreams ... I wanted to write a best-selling book and travel the world helping homeless people.

By that time, I had known my future wife for four years. The love of all my youth. She loved me for being unpredictable, for being energetic and able to make anyone laugh whenever you want. We both felt loved in each other’s arms.

I knew that my book would someday change the world. I would tell people by experience that we are all different and that it’s great. I would convince them that everyone has the right not to walk in the corporate system and not to become like everyone else. And this is not “wrong,” but simply different.At 20, I wrote the first 70 pages of this book. Now I am 46, and there are still 70 of them.

When I was 20, I already tried myself as a mountaineer in New Zealand and the Philippines. I was planning a big trip to Asia, then another - in Europe, and most importantly - in America (I live in Australia, by the way). Do you know how many countries I visited to my 46? In two: the Philippines and New Zealand.

I do not know exactly when everything went wrong. I'm sorry. I was 20. I was the only child in the family. I needed stability and solid support under my feet. Therefore, at first I went to the university, and then I got a job that began to dictate to me how to live.

I always worked from 9 to 7. What was I just thinking about?How could I turn my life into one solid work?I come home, have dinner, rummage through the papers, and then at 10 pm I go to bed, because tomorrow I need to wake up again at 6 in the morning. My God, I can't even remember when I last made love with my wife.

Yesterday she could not stand it and confessed that she’s been cheating on me for 10 years now. Be crazy, 10 years! It seems to be too long for this not to be noticed. It is not even this that hurts, but what she says, as if I had changed. I am no longer the man whom she married.What happened during these 10 years? I do not remember what happened in these years. I can not remember anything except work. These years I was a banker. But he was not a husband and was not himself.

Who am I? What happened to me? I am not even able to demand a divorce or shout at her. I can't even cry. When she confessed to me of her infidelities, I did not feel anything. I can not let a tear even now when I write this text.

To be honest, I don't care that my wife cheated on me. Much more important is another insight that has come down to me: I am dying. From the inside. And I die much faster than it seems.

What happened to the fun, perilous and energetic guy who wanted to go everywhere and change the world? And what happened to the girl who was once the first beauty of the school, and now she stays next to me? God, I really was popular with girls at school! And at the university too. But I kept her loyalty. Everyday. All my damn life.

The saddest thing about all this is that now I do not even know what I want. That is, I understand that life would not hurt to somehow change, but I do not know how.

My father died ten years ago. I remember how my mother called me and said that he was getting worse and worse.I felt sorry for the old man, but I was too busy to go home: the prospect of a big boost loomed before me. I postponed my visit again and again, hoping that my father would wait for me before he died. As a result, he died, and I got my promotion. But now I understand that by that moment I had not seen him for 15 years.

When he died, I told myself that it did not matter much. In the end, we almost never met and we had a strained relationship. I'm an atheist. And I found an excuse: my father is already dead, and he doesn’t care whether I came to him or not.

Rationalization is all that is needed to produce an infinite number of excuses. And also procrastination ... “I will definitely do it. But sometime later. ” After all, financial security is the most important concern in life.

Now I understand that I was seriously mistaken. Do not misunderstand me, I do not whimper, but just warn you: do not waste the irrepressible energy of your youth on the golden calf. Do not waste your youth on endless attempts to grow up quickly. I am now very sorry that I allowed the work to take my whole life without a trace. I regret that I turned into a terrible husband, but in a good machine for making money.

If you read this text and you have a whole life ahead, please do not postpone it for later. Do not leave your dreams for later. Try to spend all your energy on what you really want to do. Do not sit on the Internet all your free time (if, of course, the Internet is not the main passion of your life).

Please do something with your life while you are young.Have fun from the heart. Do not forget about your friends and family. Do not waste your life in vain. Strive to realize your ambitions - right now, and not sometime later. Do not become like me.

Sorry for this long cry of the soul ... I just could not not write it.

PS: My habit of postponing everything for later and the desire to make money led me to the fact that now I am dead inside, an old and tired person. It's true.

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  • My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker

    My life has gone idle Revelation banker