Our relationship ended long before he left

When is the right time to part? How to know that we have reached the point of no return in a relationship? What is the science of separation?

The end of the relationship in which I suffered for 7 years, brought a feeling of numbness, complete inaction, or perhaps it was just relief. I either became an unfeeling monster, ormy feelings were simply exhausted by our constant quarrels.While he was collecting his belongings, I was lying on the couch, reading the last chapter of my favorite book.

He was still going when I left the house and went for a walk. I smoked a bunch of cigarettes while I walked through the empty streets and watched an amazing sunset. Mystical sunset, I would say: the whole sky was gray and misty, except for one golden strip on the edge of the clouds. This is the band of tomorrow.

He came back to pick up some more things, and I sat motionless on a chair in the hallway, still wearing his shirt. I tried to help him fold the toothbrush into a plastic case, but it was too hard in my condition. I suddenly began to laugh. I thought about the incredible lightness of being. Joke.

But it was all over long before he left. This happens in every relationship - the time when something collapses. This is called a crisis. Some couples manage to cope with it, others do not. That's life.
Something collapsed inside of me that day when he grabbed my wrists, looked into the eyes with hatred and said very cruel words: “It's your fault, I am unhappy because of you.” Just as bruises appeared on my wrists, my heart was also injured. I was subjected to psychological abuse. I was trapped.

There are people who will always try to change you, who will never be happy with what you are doing for them, they will ask more and more, as if your kindness is a bottomless source of energy, and they think that they have the right to eat from it forever. When you understand this, there comes a point of no return in a relationship.When it comes to emotions and feelings, there must always be a balance between what we receive and what we give.

Maybe I needed to leave myself when I realized this, but it’s not always easy to leave. Therefore, I remained in the relationship, taking a defensive pose. I thought I would have to defend my dignity.It's hard to leave, because when we let go of a person, we let go of a piece of ourselves.Good or bad, but this is the part of us that goes out the door and never returns.

Parting is not just a moment when we say that this is my road, and this is yours, and we are not on the way, we will not meet again.This is a long process that takes place between the day when we realized that we were in pain and the day when we decided to let go of this pain.
For me it was a long, painful struggle. I remember how the two of us sat on the couch. It was one of those days when we were just silent, walked around the house as if each other did not exist, but always ran across each other, opening the door or taking out the dishes. I remember thinking that if I closed my eyes, I could imagine that he had disappeared. And I told him: "I have magical abilities." And he said: "You're crazy." Silence grew into passion. Negative.

But I still did not give a damn about him. I loved his warm touch, as he hugged me before going to bed, even if we had a lot of quarrel before that.Maybe we were afraid to talk about parting, because we were afraid that we would not have such closeness with anyone else in all respects. We were afraid of our naked souls and doubted whether we were still worth someone’s love.

I am sure that we could not be together because we are too different. I am a creative person, and he is more calculating. But I still do not know how relationships and sex depend on the similarities and differences. The life we ​​were trying to build stood on a shaky surface.

I still remember what we dreamed about, what connected us - some kind of distance from the whole world, but very different distance.

The science of parting comes down to this:the process of parting ends when the offense passes. When we can say: I forgive you as I forgave myself.

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  • Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left

    Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left Our relationship ended long before he left