> >Rules of matrimonial life in Russia
Creating a family is a responsible occupation. If today we live in a civilized world and adhere to certain rules of morality, then in ancient times everything was different.
Today's women are trying their best to be slim, because most men like them. But if we were suddenly transported during the times of peasant Russia, then no one would even pay attention to a thin young lady, preferring a rosy-cheeked bun. Yes, by the way, men would also like life in that time, because in Russia before, betrayal was not at all considered adultery, but was just fornication.
Read on, and you will learn about other features of the matrimonial life of Ancient Russia.
Skinny wives do not take
The ideal of beauty in Russia for many centuries was a full-bodied and wide-hip woman, bursting with health. In those days, men did not like thin people at all. Thinness was a symbol of either poverty or disease. Also, the matchmakers in those days were afraid to take the “yalitsa”, that is, the barren girl.It was believed that thin girls can not get pregnant or carry a child. They often have a narrow pelvis, so in antiquity they often died during childbirth or a child died. Anyway, our ancestors considered thinness to be a sign of ugliness, degeneration.
There is a mole on the cheek, and in the eyes of love ...
Now the birthmark on the cheek is a synonym for beauty, and before, the owners of such people were not married. Any marks on the body - large birthmarks, moles - were considered serious shortcomings for the future bride. The presence of a small scratch, sore, and even a runny nose could endanger the future marriage of a girl. In this regard, the bride tried to not show anyone and all the scratches, bruises to heal just before the wedding.
Was healthy, became thin
Brides before the wedding were also carefully guarded because there were “well-wishers” who tried to prevent the wedding. For example, Tsar Mikhail Fedorovich wanted to marry the poor noblewoman Maria, and his mother did not like this nomination. When the wedding was to take place, the bride fell ill. The cause of the disease was simple - the girl was poisoned by cakes with stale whipped cream, which was slipped to her by Mikhail Fedorovich's mother.Although her health was good, this fact was the reason for the dissolution of the engagement. At that time, everything was going on - witchcraft conspiracies and women's tricks.
Dress up on the way out
If the girl could not alone leave the walls of the parental home, then a married woman had no right to go anywhere, even to church, without the permission of her spouse. But if she left the family nest, then with a full parade: her eyebrows were naked and green, and “so rude and noticeable that it seemed as if someone had a handful of flour on their face and painted their cheeks with red paint”.
The wives of noble people traveled in closed carriages covered with red taffeta, where they "sat with the splendor of goddesses." The horse was decorated with fox tails. Nearby ran servants.
Quilting - alone
"Domostroy" (a set of rules and manuals of the XVI century) introduced some restrictions into familiar relations. It was recommended to beat his wife “not in front of people, to teach in private” - “to politely beat him with a lash, holding his hands”. Another appeal to humanity sounded in the collection: “... neither by sight nor a beat, nor under the heart with a fist, nor a kick, nor a staff bang, with any iron or wooden one”.Because who “beats from the heart or from the grumpy like that”, many parables come about: blindness and deafness, and the finger and headache and tooth disease are sprained and the toothache is dislocated, and in pregnant women and the child wound is damaged. ” Foreigners were amazed that for all that “Russian wives often saw heartfelt love in beating and flogging, and in the absence of them - dislike and dislike of their husbands towards themselves.”
Night with another woman - fornication, not adultery
Sex with unmarried or unmarried was not at all considered adultery and was called “fornication.” Men were often not punished for him, and women could be banished to a monastery or lashed. An adulteress was considered the one who had on the side a long relationship with someone else's wife or mistress and children from her. True, other options were also considered - for example, in Metropolitan's Justice (12th century), there were two wives living with one husband, and in The Tale of the Murder of Daniel of Suzdal and the Beginning of Moscow (17th Century) Heaps of “living with a princess in demonic lust, contacted by the Sotonian law, depressing her body with lustful lustful lust, filth in adultery”.The infidel was fined in favor of the church.
A married woman caught in fornication should be beaten with a whip, and then spent several days in a monastery, eating water and bread. After that, her husband again beats her for work started at home. But the husband who had forgiven the harlot should be punished.
Guest - vodka and kiss
Demonstrating the wife to the guest was the greatest sign of respect. In 1643, Prince Lev Shlyakhovsky liked the Holstein ambassador Adam Olearius so much that he took him to a special room. Soon the wife entered there in a magnificent dress. The ambassador had to take a glass of vodka from her hands, take a sip and, if her husband gave a sign, kiss the hostess on the lips.
“His wife came to us, very beautiful person ... and accompanied by a maid who carried a bottle of vodka and a glass. At the entrance, she first bowed her head to her husband, and then in front of me, told me to pour a cup, took a sip and then brought it to me, and so up to three times. After that, the count wished me to kiss her. Not being accustomed to such an honor, I kissed her only hand. He, however, wanted me to kiss her mouth too. Therefore, in respect of a higher person, I had to accept this honor according to their customs. ”
Daughter-in-law is a venial sin
“Nowhere, it seems, apart from Russia, there is at least one type of incest that acquires the character of an almost normal everyday phenomenon, having received the appropriate technical name — daughter-in-law,” wrote Vladimir Nabokov. This is a common practice in the Russian village, in which a man - the head of a large peasant family (living in one cottage) - has sex with younger women of the family, usually with his son's wife (a father-in-law with a daughter-in-law called daughter-in-law). This practice was especially popular in the 18th-19th centuries, first in connection with the call of young peasants for recruits, and then also in connection with the outgoing work, when young people left to work in the cities and left their wives at home in the village.
Tired of the wife - go to the monastery
If family life is completely gone bad and there is no hope for peace between the spouses, then one of them can go to the monastery. If the husband leaves, and his wife is married again, the one who has left can become a priest, even if he has brewed beer before. If the wife is barren, then, having sent her to the monastery, the man has the right to marry again after six weeks.
In the code of norms “dissolve” (divorce),part of the "Charter of Prince Yaroslav" (XIII century), cited reasons for divorce with his wife: in the case of adultery, confirmed by witnesses; due to communication with strangers without permission; for an attempt on the life of the husband or failure to report the threat thereof. The wife, in turn, could ask for a divorce, if the faithful "slandered her for treason" (without evidence). The reason also could serve as a long unknown absence of the second half, when the whereabouts is unknown.
The fourth marriage is outlawed
Church marriage in Orthodoxy treats remarriage as undesirable. Canon law allowed only three marriages. St. Gregory the Theologian said: “The first marriage is the law, the second is forgiving the forgiveness of weakness for the sake of humanity, the third is a crime, the fourth is unholiness, porky is living.” Nevertheless, widowers and divorced married - and the third and fourth time. The church even condemned the third marriage, but nevertheless believed that it was better than living in sin. But the fourth family acquisition was clearly considered illegal. Marriage was subject to immediate dissolution, and the priest who married such a couple, even out of ignorance, was deprived of dignity.
Do you want a wife - curtain icons
Performing marital duty, even though it was a legitimate matter, preferred not to offend the Lord. Before proceeding to the case, they removed the pectoral cross. If icons with the faces of saints hung in the room, they were carefully hung. On this day, it was preferable not to attend church, and if an insurmountable necessity arose, then it would only be washed and dressed in clean clothes.
Widow - Head of the Family
A woman who lost her husband and never married again automatically received all the rights that she was deprived of in marriage. She managed the property, became a full-fledged mistress in her house and the head of the family, if there was one. In society, the widows were respected.