Other people are a reflection of our own beliefs and patterns of behavior. If we are not ready to see our reflection in another person, relationships become painful. To make it all happen, first of all, you need to work on yourself.
Of course, you still need to know exactly what kind of person you want to be with and set your standards. When you meet this, then the whole thing is mainly in the inner work. Like the rest of life.
Not every relationship is destined to last long. But experience from any relationship can be used for your personal growth. Not all lessons are easy, but all are important.
And here are 6 principles for how to build long-term relationships:
1 Love yourself first.
If you do not love yourself, your partner will not help you with this. On the contrary, it will reflect your lack of self-love and confidence.
Many people start a relationship for the wrong reasons. They are just lonely, they just want someone to appreciate them, because they themselves do not value themselves. But expecting your partner to increase your self-esteem, you subconsciously put pressure on him and push him away. As a result, you love yourself even less.The other person will never be the source of your happiness and love. You must find it in yourself, whether you are in a relationship or not.
This can be a tricky lesson, but also provides inner freedom. If you want relationships to develop, then focus on being your source of self-love. If you do not love yourself, you cannot expect someone to love you completely. It does not happen. You attract people who reflect you energetically.
When we find a partner, we are so happy that we can easily forget what we want and what we need. We can compromise with our personality to spend more time with him. The longer in a relationship, the more we get used to doing everything together. But it is also dangerous. When we throw our hobbies, goals, and friends to spend more time together, we become co-dependent. And this is not conducive to relationships.
It is important to keep your dreams and pursue them, it is important to leave time for yourself in order to do what you personally like. It will make you and your relationship happier. This is especially true of women: unhappy woman = unhappy relationships and family.
Everyone has their own experience and views.And we carry our baggage of unhealed spiritual wounds and unprocessed moments wherever we go. But many of us believe that as soon as we start a relationship, we can dump this burden on another person, as if he should help us carry it. And then we blame our partner if something goes wrong, if we feel bad.
But the other person is not the source of our problems. Again, he is our reflection. And we ourselves must let go of this cargo.
Although advice is often given to remain mysterious, in order to maintain attractiveness, if you want to create long-term relationships based on trust, forget it all. Another relationship killer is speculation. When you do not clearly say what you want, what you think you need, your partner will guess. And this leads to misunderstanding. And vice versa. If the partner does not say what exactly is happening, your mind will begin to invent the worst scenarios.
Therefore, good communication is vital. Always say exactly what you want and what you feel. Even if you yourself are confused. When you feel bad for no reason, instead of saying “Nothing,” when a partner asks you how, say, “I feel bad, but I don’t know why.It has nothing to do with you, because I still need time to understand. ” It will be more accurate than just saying “Nothing,” if you are not sure what is happening.
Your partner does not belong to you. Even if you have been together for 30 years. No one belongs to anyone. Your partner has his own hobbies and dreams. And he / she, like you, should follow your heart, for what they like. Any control is like a poison to both of you.
Everyone has free will, and this means that not everyone will behave the way you want. If this does not suit you, you need to decide whether you are ready to continue or is it time to part.
Be his / her main support group. When your partner is happy, your relationship will be easier. If you love your partner, then you want him to do everything he needs to be happy. You should do the same.